Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
