Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
