i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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