just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
