I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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