How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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