"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
