look no pants
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
