If i come over, it means nothing
Everything about him screamed your future.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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