Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
