Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
