whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize