I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
