The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
