I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Randomize
