do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
