Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hippo gnu deer
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
