i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
