you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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