jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
