The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
