Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize