the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
