So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
