Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
