I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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