I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
