Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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