you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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