Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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