if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
