Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize