Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize