I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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