So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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