For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
