so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
