I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
