God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
