the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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