Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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