She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
