so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize