fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
