I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
