I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
