are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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