he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
