There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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