i permit you to call me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
