I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
