then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
