hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
