with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
