Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
