Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
