dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
