i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
