giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
