You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
