Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
