i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
