my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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