I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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