They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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