Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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