it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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