I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
