The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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