May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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