remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
