are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so let's talk penis.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize