Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
